Ditching the Pudge

Hands back on the reigns

2010-03-23T12:31:00.000-07:00

I feel like I can safely say I am back in control for now. So, I feel like I can allow myself to write here again.

The past few weeks have been so crazy, between my marriage issues, health issues and some painful spiritual growth I have not been paying much attention to my online endeavors. But things are winding down for the time being.

I missed yesterday's weigh in, so I weighed myself today. Here's where we stand:
Starting Weight: 236.8 (January 10th 2010)
1st goal Weight: 200
Ultimate goal weight: 170
March 1st weight: 220
Current weight: 214

Getting close to my mini-goal of getting below 200 pounds. It's so close, I'm so excited yet so worried I'm going to screw it up somehow.

2010-03-12T12:12:00.001-08:00

I'm taking a short hiatus until I can get some personal health issues back under control. Til then...

2010-03-03T00:08:00.001-08:00

I am drunk. But I am also down to 219 or 218, i can't remember. I am not proud of this loss because i have eaten only twice in two days. heartbreak will do that to you.

Hey there, evil scale. Monday Weigh In!

2010-03-01T09:36:00.000-08:00

I don't have anything to blather on about this morning so lets cut to the chase here:

Starting Weight: 236.8 (January 10th 2010)
1st goal Weight: 200
Ultimate goal weight: 170
Last week's weight: 221
Current weight: 220

A 1 pound loss for the week? I'll take it! Because I simply didn't think I would lose anything this week. Hah. Slow and steady it goes. That's all for now, I guess. I'm tired. =P

Lets shred it double time

2010-02-26T10:47:00.000-08:00

I have a goal I set at the beginning of this journey, to reach a size 12 by June. To some folks, a size 12 would be a nightmare. But for me, I haven't been that small since I was 12 years old. Since then, when I gained all my weight, I have never dropped below a 15/16. At my highest, I was a size 24/25 While I don't plan on stopping when I reach a size 12, it's just a goal I have set.

If I want to get down to a 12 by June, I am going to have to bust my ass harder than I have been. The past two days, I didn't work out at all, and I felt like crap because my body is getting used to that activity everyday. Starting today, I am going to start getting up earlier than my kids (which isn't hard, they don't get up until almost 11), and fitting in another "Shred session" in the mornings. So, my aim is to get two workouts in on most days. Sounds crazy to some, I'm sure. But I am serious about meeting this goal, and short of taking diet pills or starving myself or getting plastic surgery, I will do just about anything in my power to get there.

On another note, I moved onto level 2 of the DVD, finally. And my Weight Watchers stuff; I've been coming in way under my points lately, usually 10 points under. I know that can't be good for me, especially if I'm going to start working out twice a day, so I need to try fitting in some more healthy foods into my day and try to get a little closer to my point allowance. The only days that I meet it are the days when I have unhealthy stuff (like that damned German chocolate pie sitting in the fridge that Mike just HAD to have). And I'm not happy with myself on those days. Good motivation to avoid the junk. Does it taste good enough that I wouldn't mind wearing it? Nuh uh.

Friday Recipe: Weight Watchers Bacon and Potato Chowder

2010-02-26T10:00:00.000-08:00

Weight Watchers Potato and Bacon Chowder Slow Cooker Recipe

Ingredients:
- 2 cups potatoes, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
- 1 large carrot, diced
- 1 cup leeks, chopped, white part only
- 1 medium garlic clove, minced
- 4 cups fat-free chicken broth
- 1/2 cup uncooked barley
- 1 bay leaf
- 1/4 tsp dried thyme, crushed
- 1/4 tsp black pepper
- 4 oz Canadian-style bacon, cut into 1/4-inch pieces
- 1/2 cup(s) fat-free evaporated milk
- 2 oz fat-free half-and-half

Directions:
In a slow cooker, combine potatoes, carrots, leek, garlic, broth, barley, bay leaf, thyme, pepper and bacon; cover and cook on low for 6 hours.
Stir in evaporated milk and half-and-half; heat through, uncovered, about 10 minutes.

Serving size is 1 2/3 cup
Each serving = 3 Weight Watchers Points

Monday Weigh In

2010-02-22T16:28:00.000-08:00

Got back up to full speed today. It was nice! I'm impressed because, silly me, I only slept 3 hours last night. You know what sucks the most about that? It had absolutely nothing to do with the babies. Insomnia's fantastic like that.

Brendon watched me, smiling a cooing until the ab work when I would lay on the floor and he couldn't see me anymore. But he was a good boy, let me make it through the whole workout.

So, you're probably waiting on the weigh-in stats. I weighed myself on Thursday for some unknown reason so I already had an idea of what I'd see this morning. Here we go:

Starting Weight: 236.8
1st goal Weight: 200
Ultimate goal weight: 170
Last week's weight: 224
Current weight: 221

I'd say it's been a good week! I'm down a pants size finally and have been on what feels like a high stemming from that since yesterday. I don't expect as big of a loss this week, I'm preparing myself for things to slow down at any given point. But hey, I'll just pat myself on the back for now.

Injuries and inspirations

2010-02-21T15:18:00.000-08:00

I went ahead and got seen yesterday for my knee. It appears to be iliotibial band syndrome, which isn't anything serious. I just need to take better care of those particular ligaments. I'm on my way to healing, and can get back into my routine as soon as I'm comfortable enough to do so. I did some light "shredding" yesterday (no jumping, very limited lunges). Got a bit of cardio in, nothing hardcore. I find myself missing that feeling like I'm going to die after the workout! Is that weird?

I took some body shots on January 21st, as my "before shots" (because yes, I am THAT confident that I can do this). I took some follow up shots yesterday, and was amazed. I even posted them on Facebook for people to see. I'm not usually one to show my body on the net, especially when I'm not sucking in and/or wearing my "shapewear" (also known as Spanx!), because I'm embarrassed by it. But my god, I am so proud of me right now. I have come such a long way already, and it's such an amazing feeling. I'm excited, inspired, hopeful. I was feeling down before I saw the comparison pictures. I'm doing this. I am really, truly doing this. I am actually smaller. It's not just the number on the scale changing, it's my body changing. This is absolutely amazing.

Friday Recipe #3: Simple, Healthy Chili

2010-02-19T10:00:00.000-08:00

I made a couple alterations to my own batch of this (used shredded chicken instead of ground turkey, omitted carrots and added chopped green bell pepper). And I think I added more chili powder because I was out of cumin! But all in all, it's a good basic recipe allowing room to add your own personal flair.

Serving Size: 3/4 cup
Nutrition Facts (Per Serving)

Calories 148
Fat 2g
Protein 10g
Carbohydrate 23g
Sugar 5g
Fiber 7g
Sodium 466mg
_________________________________

Ingredients

- 1 tsp olive oil
- 1 onion, chopped
- 3 cloves garlic, minced
- 4 oz 93% lean ground beef (optional)
- 2 carrots, grated
- 1 can whole plum tomatoes
- 1 can light red kidney beans
- 1 can dark red kidney beans
- 1 tsp each cayenne pepper, chili powder, cumin
- 1 bay leaf

Directions

Place olive oil in a large pot over medium heat
Add 3 cloves garlic, minced
Add 4 oz 93% lean ground beef (optional) and sautee until brown, about 3 minutes
Add 1 onion, chopped
Grate carrots over pot and stir all ingredients
Add 1 can whole plum tomatoes with liquid, stir and chop with your spatula (there should be big chunks of tomatoes, they will cook down)
Add 1 can light red kidney beans, drained
Add 1 can dark red kidney beans, drained
Add 1 tsp each cayenne pepper, chili powder, cumin
Add 1 bay leaf
Stir, lower heat to medium low and cook for about 30 minutes, stirring every 10 minutes
Remove bay leaf and enjoy!

When life gives you lemons....

2010-02-18T14:45:00.000-08:00

You trade them in for chocolate.

I know I said I was avoiding sugar this week. Two different situations piled a bunch of stress on my plate yesterday. So I drizzled that stress with some chocolate. Hey, don't judge ;-)

Still came in under my point allowance for the day. And somehow lost three pounds since Monday. Well, I'm not complaining. It's just funny because I haven't been working out, I've been resting my knee. And I know I shouldn't weigh myself more than once a week. But I did. I stepped on that scale about 10 times in 90 seconds because I couldn't believe the number I was seeing. I haven't been at a weight this low since I was pregnant! (In both pregnancies, I dropped 18 pounds in the 1st trimester from the nausea, then slowly gained them back by the end of the pregnancies). But I haven't been this "small" in my non-pregnant state for years. It's crazy.

I'm going to give my knee one more day. It's feeling a lot better today, so hopefully tomorrow it'll be in good enough shape to start back up again. I still won't be trying jumping jacks, but the jump rope move is a good replacement for it since it's purely for cardio. The jump rope stuff doesn't hurt me. Woo!

Woman down!

2010-02-16T22:26:00.000-08:00

So, my right knee is a lot worse today. I'm going to put the Shred on hold for 3 days and try to rest it as much as possible. It sucks, it's sore to the touch. No idea what I did to it. Urgh. I'm frustrated because I was getting used to the routine. I think maybe I'll just do some ab work and some low impact stuff (like Pilates) until I can get back to what I'd been doing.

Damn injuries.

The horror, the suspense, the evil scale... must be Monday Weigh In.

2010-02-15T10:13:00.000-08:00

Well, I suppose 1 pound is good news! I really, really hate my scale. It's a digital. Just a cheap one from Target. When you first step on it, it pretty much always shows you a number 2-3 pounds lighter than you really are, giving you false hope. Then you step off and it says "Error". You step back on and your true weight is revealed. Every damn weigh in it does this. If I had the money I'd go out and get a different, less stupid scale. I will deal with this evil one for now.

But even better news is that I've gone down half an inch in my hips, half an inch in my thigh (yes, just one, the other is running late to this party). My waist is holding steady this week, though. That's okay. I really want to lose the gigantic hips first. The smaller waist can follow.

Starting Weight: 236.8
1st goal Weight: 200
Ultimate goal weight: 170
Last week's weight: 225
Current weight: 224

I think my big downfall lately has been sweets. I've been convincing myself that it's okay because I'm still usually nowhere near my point allowance at the end of the day. But not all snacks are equal, and sugar is definitely going to get me hung up at one weight. If I keep going going after it. Especially right before bed. I'm ridiculous. While I'm at it, maybe no more eating right before bed? I'll give it a shot. That's my strategy for the week.

Hope does NOT equal change.

2010-02-14T21:53:00.000-08:00

Take that subject line however you want ;-P

Mike and I were talking tonight about a friend of mine who's hit a plateau in her weight loss. She started counting her calories, and she did really well, lost about 20 pounds in a span of 4 months. Not bad! But she's been stuck for about 2 months now. She doesn't understand why. She's just going to keep going and hoping that she overcomes this plateau at some point.

Hoping does nothing. I have spent 6 years hoping the weight would go away. It doesn't work like that. You can start calorie counting and usually see a change in your weight. But if you want to change your body, it takes more than that. You can't keep a soda addiction and sedentary lifestyle and expect to keep losing. You can hope all you want, but that won't get you very far.

I, for one, am done hoping. I am kicking my own ass, and I am determined to be smaller AND healthier. I am changing my life one aspect at a time, because that's what it takes. To see changes in your body, you have to make changes in your life. Once we let go of this false idea of a miracle diet or magic fix, and come to terms with the fact that it takes real effort, we can start on our way to our goal.

Stay tuned. Monday morning weigh in and measurements are tomorrow. Will the number on the scale be any lower? To be continued.

Day 4

2010-02-12T16:00:00.000-08:00

Would be day 5 if I hadn't had to skip yesterday. Alice had her vaccinations on the 10th, she got 6 because she was running a little behind our schedule due to Brendon's birth. She was not well yesterday so I dedicated my day to keeping her happy.

It's already getting easier. Level 1, that is. The push ups are beginning to feel like a breeze. I've had to cut out jumping jack due to my right knee deciding to be a wuss. I replace them with more jump ropes now. I think after 10 days of level 1, I might be able to try level 2. I took a sneak peek at the next levels. Level 2 seems doable. But holy crap... weighted jumping jacks in level 3? Say what?

I'm off now for my reward; a shower. Then the kids will wake up, and I'll be back into momma mode. Til next time.

Friday Recipe #2: Weight Watchers Chicken Noodle Soup

2010-02-12T10:00:00.000-08:00

This is totally one of those soups you could freeze in individual servings and use as quick lunches. I'm a fan of quick lunches since I usually have to juggle the baby and toddler while cooking.

Weight Watchers Chicken Noodle Soup Recipe

Ingredients:
1 chicken whole, no skin, cut up
2 medium Carrots — peeled and chopped
1/2 cup onion — peeled and chopped
2 Stalks celery — coarsely chopped
2 1/2 teaspoon Salt
2 teaspoon parsley
3/4 teaspoon marjoram
1/2 teaspoon basil
1/4 teaspoon Poultry seasoning
1/4 teaspoon Pepper
1 Bay leaf
2 qt Water
2 1/2 cups egg noodles

Directions:
Place the first 4 ingredients in a 3 1/2-quart slow cooker in the order listed. Combine salt and the next 6 ingredients; sprinkle over vegetables. Add 6 cups water; cover and cook on low setting for 8 to 10 hours. Remove chicken and bay leaf; add remaining 2 cups water. Stir in noodles and cook, covered, on high setting for 20 minutes. Meanwhile remove bones from chicken and cut chicken into bite-size pieces. Add to slow cooker, stir to mix. Cook for 15 minutes on high setting, covered or until noodles are tender. Makes 3 1/4 quarts.

Serves 10
Each Serving = 1 Weight Watchers Point

30 Day Shred: Day 2

2010-02-10T00:36:00.000-08:00

I forgot that I have muscles in my chest area. Oh my lord. I wasn't too terribly sore after day 1, but I started feeling it a bit more after today's go at it. My endurance has already changed a little though. Day 1, I had to stop for two minutes, and kept having to stop shortly before each circuit was finished. Today, no break, and I was able to finish most circuits. Only had to come to a complete stop occasionally. It's intense. But, to fit in hours worth of gym work into 20 minutes, it would have to be, right? I'll be very interested to see how my endurance is by the end of the first week. If I make sure to do it everyday.

With how I feel right now, how sore my muscles are, I wonder how I'll even be able to manage a single push-up tomorrow. But 3 ibuprofen and 2 tylenol help take the edge off a little. Whatever. The concept on which the program works is putting the body under stress, driving it to adapt and change. When I get tired and my muscles burn with each jumping jack or each "squat and press", I need to remember my goal. When we take the kids to Disneyland in October, I want to be able to walk through the parks all day and not have dead legs when I get back to the hotel room. I want to be able to walk around without a sweatshirt and not worry about my arm flab showing. I want to be able to wear a real swimsuit when we use the hotel pool, not just shorts and a T-shirt. No bikinis, though. I'll never be bikini material, and I am absolutely okay with that. When I see pictures of us on the trip, I don't want to grimace at how big I look and only post the less-upsetting ones on facebook.

After the weigh-in fiasco I feel a little down on myself, but I need to keep at it. If I want a better weigh-in this coming Monday, I need to stick with this. Not just roll over and binge on ice cream. Because while ice cream sounds good right now, it is a stumbling point of mine! You sweet, delicious devil, you.

Coming clean!

2010-02-08T10:42:00.000-08:00

My confession: I weighed myself yesterday morning (Sunday). I'm not supposed to weigh in until Monday mornings but I was feeling overanxious. And I was delighted to see a new number on the scale! A smaller one! Two pounds smaller.

So, I weighed myself today, because that's when I was supposed to. And now, I am seeing the same number I saw last Monday. I saw a glimmer of hope, and then bam. Nadda.

Alright, lesson learned. Quit getting so damned antsy and just wait for Monday. I wouldn't be as disappointed if it hadn't been for that great weigh-in yesterday. My scale, it LIES!

So, our weigh-in result for February 8th 2010, a month after I started:
Starting Weight: 236.8
1st goal Weight: 200
Ultimate goal weight: 170
Current weight: 225

Here's to hoping next Monday goes better. Starting the 30 Day Shred today. No more excuses!

Getting with a new program.

2010-02-06T13:10:00.000-08:00

I bought the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred DVD yesterday. I did a lot of review reading on it beforehand, and while the level of receptiveness to it's intensity varied, the consensus seems to be that it's a good workout and effective if you stick to it. I'm going to put it to the test myself!

I popped it in yesterday while I was feeding Brendon just to see what the big fuss is about. Basically, from what I see of level 1 (there are 3 levels on the DVD), it's basic exercise. Just nonstop, no resting in between, and switching every couple of minutes. I can tell this is going to be hard. Especially for someone who hasn't had regular exercise since gym class in 6th grade.

At the end of the 30 days, I will disclose my final result and my overall review. I'm really hoping I can do it everyday (starting this afternoon) for 30 days. It's only 20 minutes a day. I'd have a really hard time finding an excuse not to, except for the almighty "I'm lazy" excuse.

Fitness DVD Review #1: "Element: Pilates Weight Loss for Beginners with Brooke Silas"

2010-02-06T09:00:00.000-08:00

This was my first go at Pilates and let me just say wow. To put it lightly, it seriously kicks my butt. I had no idea what to expect. I'd seen infomercials for Pilates DVDs in my teen years, and I didn't see how it could be a good workout. But now, I am enlightened.

It's a great low-impact workout in about 50 minutes, it gets my heart pumping and a minor sweat going. Brooke Silas does a wonderful job of fully explaining each move you're doing, almost to the point where you can go without looking to the screen for direction. She reminds you throughout the video which muscles you need to keep engaged, which is helpful because you tend to let go throughout position changes.

All in all, a good beginners DVD. The only con I can find is that I can see myself easily getting bored with this after a couple of weeks. It's definitely something to have as a supplement to other forms of exercise. Or other fitness DVDs, whatever.

Quotes

2010-02-05T22:44:00.000-08:00

"You must begin to think of yourself as becoming the person you want to be."- David Viscott

"You must do the thing you think you cannot do."- Eleanor Roosevelt

"Your body is the baggage you must carry through life. The more excess the baggage, the shorter the trip."- Arnold H. Glasgow

"Discipline is remembering what you want."- Unknown

Already learning so much

2010-02-05T12:00:00.000-08:00

I remember on a few separate occasions, when talking about weight struggles with people I know, that I've said the words "I don't even eat very much". What I should have been saying, however, was "I don't eat very often". Because this was more accurate. I didn't eat often. Two meals a day most days, and a snack somewhere in there. The problem didn't lie in how often I was eating, but how much I ate when those mealtimes came around. I didn't realize the issue until recently, though.

After just over 20 days of doing Weight Watchers I see the huge problem with how I'd been eating. Well, with how a lot of people I know eat, really. I have had serious portion distortion taught to me over the years. Did you know that a serving size of pasta is 1/4 cup? 1/4 cup! How much do they pile on your plate at Olive Garden? I have no idea. But it's all over the place. Restaurants pile all this food on your plate in the name of "good value for the money", and we take this idea of portioning with us wherever we go. Be that home, holidays with family, whatever. It's no wonder so many people struggle like I do. We may not even realize how much we're overeating because these plates of food we prepare for ourselves now appear to be normal.

I have to say that it took a few days for my stomach to adjust to the new, appropriately portioned meals it was receiving. It's been an eye opening experience. I don't think I'll ever be able to buy foods again without checking the nutrition label before tossing it in the cart. Without asking myself "will it taste good enough to be worth wearing?". And honestly, I don't think it's a bad thing.

It's seemingly contagious, too. Michael has been floored at the realization of how many calories he would take in at a single sitting. Half a bag of sunflower seeds at his lunch break, 5-6 servings worth of chocolate peanut butter ice cream before bed, etc. It adds up so quickly. And now he, too, is making changes. He's taking it slowly, weaning himself from the bad habits. Where as I cut myself off cold turkey. That's just how I roll.

I fell that just by knowing what I know now, I have already made a big step toward my goal. It's a huge step in the right direction. Instead of dieting, I'm learning how to eat sensibly and it's paying off. Makes me feel like this goal of mine is possible. For the first time ever.

Friday Recipe #1: Turkey Stuffed Peppers

2010-02-05T10:00:00.000-08:00

Turkey Stuffed Peppers (I don't take credit for this yummy idea, the recipe was found on Gina's WW Recipes)

Servings: 6 servings (1/2 pepper) • Time: 55 minutes • Points: 4.5 ww points

1 lb lean chopped turkey meat
1 garlic, minced
1/4 onion, minced
1 tbsp chopped fresh cilantro or parsley
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp cumin powder
salt to taste
3 large sweet red bell peppers, washed
1 cup fat free chicken broth
1/4 cup tomato sauce
1 1/2 cups cooked rice
Olive oil spray
1/4 cup reduced fat shredded cheese

Heat oven to 400°. Spray a little olive oil spray in a medium size saute pan and heat on a medium flame. Add onion, garlic and cilantro to the pan. Saute about 2 minutes and add ground turkey. Season with salt and garlic powder, and cumin and brown meat for several minutes until meat is completely cooked through. Add 1/4 cup of tomato sauce and 1/2 cup of chicken broth,mix well and simmer on low for about 5 minutes. Combine cooked rice and meat together.Cut the bell peppers in half lengthwise, and remove all seeds. Place in a baking dish. Spoon the meat mixture into each pepper half and fill it with as much as you can. Place all stuffed pepper halves on the baking dish and pour the remainder of the chicken broth on the bottom of the pan.Cover tight with aluminum foil and bake for about 35 minutes. Top with shredded cheddar cheese and enjoy.

Mike and Alice both went crazy for this one. For such a simple filling, it really does have a lot of flavor. This has been added to our rotation of meals.

An introduction

2010-02-04T13:06:00.000-08:00

I've been bombarding my Livejournal followers with my current mission, and feel like it might do some good to divert it to a blog specifically for it instead.

I'm Emily. A married 20 year old stay-at-home-mom of two kids under two years old. As I write, I have a 15 month old daughter and a 2 month old son. Yes, I know, "ooh, you must be busy". That's not an original line.

I started in early January on my journey to lose 60 pounds. 60 emotion-packed pounds. No, it was not a New Years resolution. And nope, not a bit of it is baby weight, I'd be lying if I said it were.I've been carrying this weight for close to 7 years now. No resolution, I just finally hit the point where I am determined to do something about it instead of just whine.

I packed this weight on when I was 12 years old. After a traumatizing event, I spiraled into a deep, all-consuming depression. I wouldn't open up to anyone (though if I had it would have possibly saved us all a lot of trouble), so my parents and a counselor made a decision to medicate me. As they cycled me through medication after medication, I went from a healthy sized pre-teen to a seriously overweight hermit in the blink of an eye. Well, if a blink of an eye lasted about 6 weeks. This just added to my depression and anger issues.

Fast forward to now. My life is completely different. I've done so much healing, even after life kicking me in the teeth a couple times more. I have a wonderful, supportive husband, and two amazing kids. I feel like a different person... so, why don't I look like a different person? I still see that depressed, suddenly overweight 12 year old in the mirror.

I feel like this is another necessary step in my healing process. This weight is more than just weight. It carries a ton of emotional baggage and I'm sick of carrying it. I've worked too hard to heal as much as I have and still be tied down like this. So here I am. I have made the decision to no longer be a bystander in my own life and health. I am taking charge. For myself and for my kids.

I'm 20 days in and already 12 pounds lighter. It's going to be a long road, though. All I know is that I am hellbent on reaching my goal and getting healthier.